How to tell friends 'no kids at the wedding'
SO MANY people get offended when you ask them not to bring their little darlings to your wedding. Why? When it's the bride and groom's decision who they invite or not, shouldn't people just respect their wishes?
So how do you politely tell people not to bring their kids to your wedding? It's actually simpler than you think. Here are four approaches that might work for you:
Be Honest - Honesty is the best policy. "There is no way your kids are going to be quiet and behave enough for the ceremony.” "We feel the atmosphere would be more romantic without the distraction of kids.”
"Nobody allowed under the age of 18 due to the amount of alcohol that will be consumed.” "You know Uncle Barry gets naked at weddings ... best not to expose the kids to that!” (Seriously, I can't be the only one who has a family member who does this.)
Lie - I'm not talking about whopping lies - just little white lies. "The venue has recommended no children.” "The videographer has said that for background noise kids are a hindrance.”
Reasoning - This can be used on people who grit their teeth at your request. "Imagine this: the cake is rolled out ... all of a sudden little Emily thinks it's a great idea to shove her hand into the side of the cake. Kids are quick - it happens. You don't want to be the one with the kid who ruined all photo opportunities with the cake.” A bit harsh maybe? "Wouldn't you prefer to have a kid-free night? Organising a babysitter means you will enjoy the night a lot more than if you brought the kids.” "As much as I love your kids, I don't want to share the dance floor with them; you know how I dance. I don't want to kick them in the face.”
Be strategic - This is the option I chose for some people, and they were none the wiser about it - until now. "Of course we want you both in the bridal party. Although you will have to get a babysitter as there won't be anyone there to watch the kids for you.” "We are having a location wedding. We are going to Fiji.”
Remember, at the end of it all it's your day. If somebody cracks up, revoke their invitation. A real friend will understand your request.
Jody Allen is the founder of Stay At Home Mum: stayathomemum.com.au