2.1m tall, 12 years old and really good at basketball
OLIVIER Rioux is really good at basketball - probably because he's 2.08m tall.
He's also a 12-year-old.
The pre-teen phenomenon must wake up every Saturday and head to the court with a smile on his face as wide as the Harbour Bridge because he knows his opponents can't touch him - literally. They'd be lucky to get hold of his belly button, but trying to grab the ball out of his hands? No chance.
You can't help but pity those poor 12-year-olds on the other team - who were dealt a harsh hand in life by only growing to a regular size for someone of their age - when tasked with trying to stop Rioux scoring.
Or at least you might pity them if it wasn't so much fun to watch. Rioux doesn't even need to jump to touch the rim. Seriously - at that age it's only 2.4m (eight feet) off the ground.
Missing a jump shot from inside the three-point line? Doesn't matter, just take two lengthy strides towards the hoop, pick up the offensive rebound and slam home a dunk.
Your teammate's in possession but is too well guarded and can't see an option with the shot clock running down? Never mind, just pass to the bloke whose armpits sit inches above everyone else's head.
Just make sure the ball doesn't hit the roof en route to Rioux's outstretched hands.
He's just as dominant without the ball, too. Imagine little Jimmy on a fast break, about to score his first ever layup - only for the big dog to come from behind with the mother of all rejections.
Deep down in every failed athlete who's now all grown up is the fantasy to one day re-live the glory days by smoking a bunch of people smaller and younger than them. It may not be pretty but it will probably make you feel like a big man or woman.
Well, Rioux does that on a regular basis, and he didn't even need the ageing process to do it.
A video of Rioux absolutely destroying the hopes and dreams of his opponents originally posted on basketcantera.tv was picked up by American sports website Bleacher Report, which re-posed the video on its Twitter account.
In 13 hours the video had been viewed 1.25 million times, retweeted more than 6000 times and liked by nearly 20,000 people.
The American media had a field day when it became aware of Rioux's exploits, which reportedly take place in Canada. Writing for SB Nation, James Dator summed it up perfectly.
"Watching a seven-foot kid mercilessly destroy his competition on an eight-foot rim is magical. It feels like we're witnessing something from a kid's movie, not a child's nightmare," Dator wrote.
"Seriously, what are you supposed to do when you're facing Rioux and he's a solid three feet taller than you are? That's a rhetorical question, because the only answer is to abandon all hope, give up, and wait for the sweet release of death."
Pete Blackburn of CBS Sports was also in awe of the youngster.
"Being two feet taller than everyone else and still staring down people after your blocks is an all-time rude move. I love it," he wrote.
"Things might not come as easy for Rioux when he graduates to taller rims and taller, more skilled competition, but that doesn't matter right now.
"All that matters is that we have these highlights for our entertainment, and that Rioux is living the dream - or at least my dream - for the time being."
Multiple reports from North America have suggested Rioux doesn't mind trash talking his opponents after he dunks all over them. So if basketball doesn't work out, maybe he can apply for a spot on the Australian cricket team.