Seven Apps that could fix your sex life
THERE'S an app that allows women to track their ovulation. Clue will apparently help you decide when the best time to get pregnant is, be prepared for your next period or "understand your mood swings".
Useful for some maybe but, please, ho-hum.
Ditto sex apps that allow you to view, for free, positions of the Kama Sutra, to access sex toys and sexy lingerie or to play a game involving sexual positions.
That's the best the great minds of app development could come up with?
How about some really useful apps for the woman of today.
Here's a few suggestions with one rider. Would whoever invents them please send me some kind of royalty fee?
Track Your Ex: Never run into your ex while looking like hell again. Never run into your ex with his hot new girlfriend. Never run into your ex at an intimate, dimly lit restaurant, where the waiter sits you next to his table. You enter his phone number, Track Your Ex tells you where he is. Okay it's got stalker potential too but who are we, the Love Police?
Your Crush: Your crush who is, unfortunately, attached, suddenly becomes single. This app tells you when. Time to phone and ask if he'd like to catch up for a drink and maybe help him get over it.
Sexual health guide: You enter his or her name and this app accesses his medical records - well, if Medicare can do it - and you find out whether he has a sexual disease you don't want to catch.
Cheaters Anonymous: Except it's not really anonymous because his last girlfriend has put him on a blacklist that Cheaters Anonymous can now access and tell you if you have a real player you'd like to avoid.
Get Lucky Tonight: Simply by using your phone as a scanning device outside a pub or bar, you can tell what the male/female ratio is. Maybe it works on body heat.
Your First Date: This app guides you about the best questions to ask on a first date so that you get maximum information without appearing to give him an inquisition.
Good In Bed Guide: You take a photo of him dancing, this app analyses whether he has the moves in other places.
Much more useful don't you think than just missionary position instructions or a fertility guide?